I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
