on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I'm really busy with my period
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