why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize