I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
