But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
