i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
