Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
