My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
