Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
