fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
