Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
