your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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