I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
