Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize