He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
