the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
