How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
