true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
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