His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
