im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
