She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
people are starting to question the shark bite story
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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