now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
