I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize