I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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