rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
