He had one of those small greek statue penises
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
