oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he was CRYING into my vagina
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
