You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
