Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
