Me too!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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