Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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