this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize