pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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