I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
