I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize