cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
