my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
