Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
