I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
