I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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