Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
