they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Porn is love you can see.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
