Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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