Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
