im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
