Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
did you just send me my own nude
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
