It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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