You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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