He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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