its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
