you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
