Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize