I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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