just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
