So drunk, too bad you don't want this
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
