he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
