id be glad to
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
