Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
