I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I think I just sharted jello shots
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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