Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
