...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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