Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize