i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
