I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
