Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
did you just send me my own nude
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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