whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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