So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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