So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
