nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
