these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
