im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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