I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
