it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
