So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
