You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
