i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
