New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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