Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
you had me at cake vodka
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
