At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
