she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
